Founded on Fear Read online

  The next day, Dan Kelly, the old bandmaster, came to the school, to borrow five shillings from Mr Hickey, to get married. Everyone was now talking about Dan. He had been going with a girl for nearly two years. Some people laughed at the idea of him getting married on five shillings, but Brother Byrne said it was a very brave thing to come back and marry the girl. Dan Kelly was very small, only five feet. He was considered something of a joke by the Brothers because of his height, but he was a first-class musician and a good band-master.

  My brother Joe now leaves the school. It’s almost 2 years since we left home. He is going back to our own village, as my father has found him a job. He hasn’t learned very much, because he can’t read or write, but he has learned a little about his trade. Joe has not had a really bad time as he went to third standard under Mr Griffin. He was never beaten by Walsh because he was in St Patrick’s Dormitory. And now he is leaving as Brother Vale arrives. Joe would find it more pleasant at home now, as there are two windows in the kitchen, and the roof has been repaired. I didn’t think I would miss Joe so very much because he worked all day in the bakehouse. Sometimes I would see him at breakfast or after dinner, or when I took clothes from the laundry to the tailor’s shop to be repaired. As I had to pass the bakehouse I would throw a small stone at the window, and if there was no one about he would hand a piece of bread out the window, and I would hide it in the bushes until I came back. I was very fond of fresh bread whilst it was still warm. When I couldn’t get bread, I was able to get a turnip or a carrot from the garden at the back of the laundry. Annie Aspel didn’t mind me bringing food to the Laundry. She couldn’t understand how I was able to eat the raw carrots and turnips. I explained to her that at home we got very little else to eat except what we could pick up in the woods and fields. Annie then said she couldn’t eat anything here, because she had no teeth.

  I now felt terribly lonely and home sick, a lot worse than when I first came to the school, and added to all this was a new sense of fear. I asked Paddy the other day how long more I would have to remain, and he said it would be almost four and a half years. He didn’t think four and a half was very long. Besides he would be going home in another year, and he would ask mother to try and get us out when we were fifteen. Paddy said that sometimes a boy could be claimed by his parents at that age if the P.P. was satisfied that conditions at home had improved. But even at that, it still meant three and a half years with Brother Vale.

  6

  The Workshops

  The superior Brother Keegan was in the tailor’s shop yesterday when I went there to collect some shirts, and Lydon the foreman tailor asked him if I could be posted to the tailor’s shop, as he thought I would be a good tailor. Brother Keegan then told me to report to Mr Lydon on the following Monday. This news upset me very much as I was quite happy in the laundry, and when I explained this to Brother Keegan he answered saying, laundry work was not suitable for a boy. He thought I should learn a trade which would be useful to me when I went out into the world. I then said I should like to be a farmer or anything except a tailor, but there was no choice. I could see he was getting angry, so I went back to the laundry and told Annie Aspel, but she was not surprised. She said that they changed the boys every few months.

  My first job in the tailor’s shop was taking the pressing irons to the blacksmith’s to be heated, as the stove in our shop was never working well in the morning. The blacksmith’s was three doors away and the boss Mr Moran made us blow the bellows whilst the iron was getting hot. If he was in a bad mood he would chase us with a hammer, but he never hit anyone with it. I think that was his idea of a joke, he was then over sixty years old, and was very well liked by everyone. It was his son the Irish teacher who died the previous year. His daughter teaches darning and knitting. Mr Moran’s nickname was ‘Knocky’ and he did not like it. Another change has now been made. Joe Carmody the mechanic has been dismissed from the school because he was always late getting up in the morning. Keegan brought the guards to take him away from the school. The children were sorry to see Joe Carmody being taken away, because he was a very good man. He once stopped Walsh from beating the lads, and warned him that he would throw him through the window if he was ever seen beating anyone naked again. Joe Carmody’s room was in St Michael’s dormitory, and the screams of the kids kept him awake at night.

  The new mechanic was O’Shea from Cork city. He was a good tradesman and was thirty-two years old. I have now been three months in second class, and there is great excitement over the big fight. It is the heavyweight championship of the world between Jack Dempsey and Gene Tunney. Brother Byrne has come into our school to make a bet with Brother Conway who is backing Dempsey to win. Byrne has backed Tunney to win. Tunney wins, but Conway is not very worried, they often have a bet of a shilling on a handball game. The lads of fifth standard say that Fahy is a bad loser, and he beats the boys more when he loses money. Brother Fahy is a heavy gambler and he lost five pounds last week on a game of handball.

  In the tailor’s shop I am learning how to put on patches by hand. I hate working on old clothes because they are covered with lice, and we can’t keep ourselves clean for this reason. Yesterday I had to work under the bench. The bench takes up half the workshop and eight boys work on it. It’s about three feet in height, and underneath is where all the old remnants are kept, and there is no light there except when the small door is open. Lydon made me work there sorting out bits of wool material for making patches, but I was terribly frightened because I had been told that there were rats under the bench. I worked for a half hour and brought out what pieces of wool material I could find.

  Lydon then told me to go back again under the bench, but I was too frightened, it was so terribly dark in there. And the smell of the rats was too much for me. Tommy Hewitt told me they had placed rat poison there a week ago, perhaps it was that which was smelling. I could not go back there again so I ran out of the workshop and continued to run until I had reached the farm yard where I met Brother Scully, and I asked him if I could work on the farm. He said he would ask Keegan. I worked with Brother Scully for two days until Brother Fahy sent for me. Tom Thornton came for me, he was also in the tailor shop. Fahy beat me on both hands and then put me across a desk. I was now beaten so severely with a heavy stick that I was admitted to the infirmary for a week. I was treated by Dr Lavelle. As I lay in the infirmary I prayed to God for courage to be able to carry on. Tom Thornton was the same age as me or a little younger. He got a similar beating the same day. Thornton had one leg.

  I was now back at school, and the workshop in the afternoon. Brother Vale now walks around during meals, and without a word of warning he flogs several boys during every meal. He has not allowed us to talk for more than two months. We never know who is going to be beaten, and there is never any reason given. Vale is about five feet five inches, with dark hair. He usually beats boys between ten and thirteen years. After each meal we say the Grace, and then everyone makes a rush for the door, because the last few are beaten.

  During meal times we just look at the table, in case we might be tempted to talk or whisper or smile. We don’t look at each other. The most terrible ordeal is the compulsory silence. It is a silence which I feel sure I can hear. It’s like bells ringing very far away. As I sit in silence I think of what the missionary told us last Christmas. The more we suffer on this earth, the greater will be our reward in the next. We must never complain. It is sinful in the eyes of God to complain. The lads in the play and the band have been to Clifden, Claremorris, and Westport. Tomorrow, Sunday, they will be off to Castlebar, Co. Mayo. Last week Con Murphy brought me back an orange. I once got a half orange from my mother, when I was five years old. My mother used to put orange peel in the chest of drawers, as perfume, to take away the smell of smoke from our clothing.

  It’s now September 1927. Mother has written saying Joe has a nice job, he is working for Twohill of Ahascragh. She speaks about the many improvements which have taken place at home. She th
inks it may be possible very soon to buy a cow, it would save her going to town every day for a pint of milk. Mother reminds us that the goat has died, she is not sure that it was mentioned in the last letter. The contract for supplying stone for the mental hospital in Ballinasloe will soon be completed. Dad said he has sold three thousand tons of stone at two and six a ton. The contract was a very good thing, because mother has been able to pay back all the money she borrowed, and everyone at home has been able to get new clothes.

  Mother ends her letter, saying, ‘your dad prays every night for every one of you, your dad often says to me, I always knew that my boys would be well looked after by the good kind Christian brothers.’ When Paddy finished reading the letter, he said, ‘it seems that Joe has told them nothing’. I’m glad he said nothing about what was going on, it wouldn’t do any good. It’s now bath night, and Brother Conway is in charge. We are all lined up in the dormitory to get a clean shirt and stockings. But before getting clean ones we have to hand in the old ones, and a few of the boys have lost a shirt or a stocking in which case they can’t get a change.

  Brother Keegan now comes to the dormitory with a new white stiff collar for everyone, which is worn outside the cotton of the jacket, and is held in position by a collar stud. As no one has ever worn this type of collar before, we have a lot of trouble the next morning putting the collars on, the result being that we are all late for Mass, and we have to run all the way to the chapel. The chapel is far too small and many of the local inhabitants kneel outside. Fr. Discum1 says Mass and in his sermon he says that work on the new chapel may have to stop, owing to lack of funds, so he appeals to everyone in the Parish to contribute within their means to get the work completed. He also reminds them that there would be a special collection after Mass, and he hoped everyone would give generously for a new chalice, which would cost ten pounds. After Mass, instead of having our usual fifteen minutes’ interval to play, Brother Fahy made us march round the yard in silence, because we were late for the chapel.

  Brother Keegan came to take charge of breakfast and he talked for half an hour about the shortage of money in the school, and he reminded us of the need for greater economy in the workshops, the farm, the school rooms and the kitchen. We must take much greater care of our clothes and boots. They must be repaired when necessary. He said he wanted a higher standard of work from the shoemakers and the tailors. He said the monitors in each workshop would be held responsible for all work done by younger children. The monitors did beat the younger children, but there is some doubt as to who gave them authority. Brother Keegan added that the workshops must not only pay their way in supplying the needs of the school, they should also build up greater trade with local people. He mentioned that many complaints had been received from customers, about badly made boots and suits which were made in our workshops.

  One of the older boys then raised his hand and asked for permission to speak. When granted permission, he asked if the bread ration could be increased as he was starving (present ration three slices a day). Brother Keegan answering said that there was every chance of the ration being reduced rather than increased. Brother Keegan added, we should be thankful to God for what he gives us. Keegan then said that the cost of the suit, boots, socks and shirt which every boy received on leaving the school was about five pounds ten shillings. He thought any boy with a conscience who really appreciated what was done for him in the school, should consider it his duty to refund that money during his first year of employment.

  During the next week I learned how to use the sewing machine, and I made pillowcases and sheets. As I now realized that there was no escape from the tailor shop I made up my mind to try and learn what I could, and if the opportunity did arise I should definitely try to get a change to another trade. I now had to go to the laundry twice a week to collect work which had to be repaired. I liked this now as it gave me a chance to get away for half an hour and besides I could sometimes get a few potatoes because I used to work a lot harder now, and would stay on working when all the other lads went to play.

  It was now Halloween again and we got the usual apple and nuts. We also got tea with sugar instead of the usual cocoa. We were allowed to talk during meals all that day. We have had a better time lately. As Vale does not beat the lads so much during meal times. He hasn’t beaten anyone for almost a week except a few for allowing crumbs to fall on the floor. He beats the boy on ‘serve’ especially after meals.

  After making pillow cases and sheets the young tailors were then taught shirt making. The shirt was a very simple made garment, which could be completed in a half hour. The tailor in charge of us was not a good tradesman, and a poor teacher, so the children under him made poor work, and suffered severely by being punished. Sometimes he would beat the lads himself but usually he reported us to the Brothers. Beatings carried out after such a report were always severe.

  I was more interested in shoe making than tailoring, and would often spend an hour in the shoemaker’s, when our own foreman went to dinner or went to the village drinking. The old shoemaker didn’t mind me sitting looking at him, because I would do little jobs, like changing the water or putting the sole leather in the bucket for him. His name was Flanagan and he taught me how to cut out the upper and stitch it by machine. It was also reinforced with one row of hand stitching. I also learned to stitch soles by hand. In exchange for all his teaching I would repair and press his clothes. When the Brothers were away on holidays I could go to his house in the village, and do cleaning and washing up for him and would get bread and country butter. The bread was made with buttermilk, and was nearly always newly baked and the butter was delicious.

  It was Halloween again and the usual excitement. As we lined up for the apples and nuts Mr Griffin stood a little distance away. In previous years the superior always gave Mr Griffin several handfuls of nuts because he did not eat apples. But this year Brother Vale gave out the apples and nuts, and he didn’t give any to Mr Griffin. The boys quickly noticed that Mr Griffin was left out, and many shared their nuts with him. Some days later as I was on my way to the laundry to collect shirts for repair, I heard very loud screaming from the kitchen, and I climbed up on a pile of wood and looked through the window. What I seen in the kitchen was my brother Jack lying on the floor and he was being flogged by Vale. He was being beaten all over the body with the rubber. Vale was shouting ‘get on your feet, get on your feet you pig’. This continued for at least ten minutes. I then ran next door to the laundry to tell Annie Aspel, and she came running out with an iron bar. As we went into the kitchen, my brother Jack was still lying on the floor. He was now very quiet. Annie said he was unconscious. With that Vale appeared with a bucket of water and threw the lot over Jack. Jack had now recovered and when he got to his feet, Annie Aspel pushed at Vale with the bar and he ran to the pantry. As he did his glasses fell to the ground. As he turned to pick up the glasses, we could only stand and stare. Vale looked terrible without the dark glasses, his eyes frightened us. Annie now backed away, his eyes were very red with great rings underneath. I seen Jack at school that evening, and asked him what he had done wrong and he said, he had let ‘Nigger’ get out of the pantry. ‘Nigger’ was a black kitten. Stapleton also worked in the kitchen and was subject to the same ill-treatment.

  At school we were now concentrating on catechism, as the priest would be coming soon. And after the exam it would be only a few weeks ’til Christmas. We have been promised a big parcel this year from home, and Mother said she would buy us all a pair of gloves, as we get chilblains very bad. We were now going to the infirmary every day after dinner for cod liver oil. Keegan said that no one should have chilblains if they go for their cod liver oil. Yesterday Martin Mullins and I went to the farmyard after leaving the infirmary and ‘Festy’ the butcher let us see the young pigs. Festy McDonald is his full name. He is very nice when he is not too drunk. They say he drinks poitín.2 Muddy Gleeson said they have to go to Clifden for this drink and it’s made up in the mountains.
Festy shouts and swears a lot when he is drunk, and the boys run away from him, but ‘Bulldog’, a boy in third standard, told me ‘that Festy never hurts anyone’.

  Every evening Festy takes his collie dog to Diamond Hill to count the sheep. He doesn’t go up the hill himself but stands at the bottom and whistles to his dog. The dog rounds up all the sheep and brings them back. I am told that Festy slaughters one sheep a week, for the use of the monastery. Cattle are slaughtered for the school. Bulldog said ‘we will have pork at Christmas’, so that a pig would be killed. He also told me he heard Keegan say that we may have geese for Christmas dinner provided the fox doesn’t steal too many. So far this year he has stolen four geese and several chickens.

  There are about twelve boys now employed on the farm and ten in the tailor’s shop, and ten in the shoemaker’s. Four in the carpenter’s, three in the wheelwright’s shop, three in the mechanic’s, four in the bakehouse, two in the main office. There are two in the monastery under Brother Murphy, and two in the boys’ kitchen, one looks after the stores. There are usually two in the infirmary, and there are two or three employed in the powerhouses, under the electrician. There is one boy in charge of the fretwork shop. The number of younger children employed in the darning and knitting room now varies between twelve and fifteen. One boy is always available at the chapel to assist the priest when required.

  The new priest Fr Donlon is very much nicer than Fr Lyons the curate who went away. Fr Donlon was again caught stealing petrol from the school pump, which is kept locked, but Fr Donlon has discovered a way how to open it. A lot of petrol has been stolen lately, but when the superior found out it was the priest, he just made a joke of it and said perhaps the good priest borrowed the petrol.