Founded on Fear Read online

  There is a quay about a mile and a half from the school. It is here the ship is tied up every summer, when a shipload of coal is brought from Scotland. We have a wonderful time unloading the coal, which is carried to the school in an old Ford lorry. Last year the superior borrowed another lorry. And it took three days to unload all the coal. As this is during the summer holidays, we all get a chance to see the ship. Before the ship was due to leave last summer, Mr Griffin took us to see her sail home. Mr Griffin said goodbye to a man who was an inmate of our school twenty years ago. Mr Griffin said he could not remember him, but the man remembered Mr Griffin and gave him a tin of tobacco. He promised to be back again with the next load of coal.

  It’s Saturday night and everybody has a bath. Brother Byrne is in charge tonight. We get undressed in the dormitory, and go to the bathroom about twenty at a time. It’s good when Brother Byrne is in charge because he never carries a stick or strap, and he allows us to talk in the bathroom. When we return to the dormitory we get a change of shirts and socks. Sheets and pillowslips are changed every two weeks. After being washed shirts and bed linen are sent to the tailor’s for repair, socks go to the darning room. On Saturday night jackets and pants are examined. If they are badly torn, they are changed. Repaired clothing is sent from the tailor’s shop every Saturday to the dormitories. I am now put to work in the laundry, and if the weather is fine I hang out the washed clothing on a line and on bushes at the back of the kitchen, but I don’t like this work because there are too many rats, where I have to hang the clothes. I told Annie Aspel about the rats and she laughed, saying they won’t eat you because they are well fed. Much better fed than you boys. She told me that all the garbage, bones, fish loads, potato peelings, and all the waste are thrown out there. So she came out and showed me how to chase away the rats. She told me to throw stones at them and they would go away.

  Annie Aspel is in charge of the laundry. She lives outside the school. She said that some years ago all the waste from the kitchen was taken and thrown over the drain about a hundred yards away from the laundry, near the football field. She remembered making a complaint to the superior several years before about the rats and his answer was that the rats were God’s creatures, and they were sent for the benefit of mankind. He went on to explain that everything, and every animal and every insect had a purpose in life. Annie said her age was forty-eight and told me she had never been married.

  She had seen thousands of lads coming and going, and couldn’t understand why so many parents brought children into the world, and didn’t look after them. She thought it sinful for children to be taken away from their parents at six or seven years. It was high time she said that they opened schools for parents. Annie Aspel then came closer to me and spoke in what was almost a whisper, saying my dear boy I have not been here with my eyes shut. I know what is going on. I don’t have to ask questions. I can see in your face, what I have been seeing in the faces of hundreds of children for many years. No one will ever take the place of your own Mother.

  The whistle blew and I went away for dinner. Brother Murphy was in charge of the refectory, and he said we could ‘talk away’. We were now called to silence for a few minutes, and told that Brother Vale would shortly be coming to take charge of the cooking. He would arrive after the summer holidays. A small boy at our table now put up his hand and Brother Murphy came over to see what was the matter. The boy complained that Matt Feerick had thrown a potato peel at him. Matt now jumped to his feet and shouted to the boy who complained ‘you bloody sweep’, at this Brother Murphy laughed loudly. Next day we are all given new caps by Brother Keegan. They are grey and blue. I have never worn a cap before, so when I go to Mass I forget to take it off.

  5

  Third Year

  The summer examinations are now on, and all pass except Murtaugh and Stapleton, so after the holidays I will be in second class with my brother Jack. We have had a fairly good time since Brother Conway came. He is very young for a teacher and he plays handball with the boys. Next week we start our holidays, and I hear that Brother Keegan has bought four new footballs, so it’s going to be much better holidays than last year. Instead of just looking at other lads playing, we will be able to have our own game. As there are about a hundred and seventy boys in the school, we will not have a football every day, but about two or three times a week. Brother Keegan has now placed a monitor in charge of the young boys, one for infants and one for first class.

  We had a monitor when I first came to the school, but he was a big bully and he kept most of the food for himself, so Tommy Gordon reported him and he was skinned by Keegan and sent to his own table. Scally was his name and he would wait in the lavatory and flog the boys who did not give him what he wanted. Scally had a strap just like the one Walsh had. He got it made in the shoemaker’s shop, it was two pieces of sole leather sewn together. He is the only one of the old bullies left, the others have gone out of the school. There were another two, one called Ackle and Moore who used to cut the children’s hair. Ackle had been away to several jobs but had to be sent back to the school because he was no good. Ackle said he preferred being in Letterfrack, because he could always get his own way. He was always a pet and paid his way by carrying stories. He was most selfish and cruel to the younger children.

  It’s now the first week of the holidays, and four of the brothers have gone away, Fahy, Byrne, Conway and Brother Murphy the office Brother. The weather is wet so after I finish in the laundry I join the other lads in the gymnasium, where we usually go. Brother Keegan is there and he is showing the older boys how to climb the rope ladders, which are attached to the roof but hang loose at the other end. The ladders are climbed by using the hands only and the body should be kept as straight as possible. There is a billiard table also in the gym, but only the masters and the Brothers play.

  There is a physical training instructor now in the school. He teaches drill and exercises by numbers. He is also teaching a class in the band room a new play, which will be acted after the holidays, before going on a tour to try and get money for the school. The play is called H.M.S. Pinafore. We have some very good singers amongst the boys, Joe Cavanagh, George Gordon and young Hunt. Tommy Gordon is coming on very well at the piano and Matty Feerick is a fairly good step dancer, although they are still very young. We now have a very good band, it’s said to be the second best in the country. Hickey the new bandmaster is very good at his job, but terribly cruel to the band boys. They practise every day in the yard, and Hickey stops the band every few minutes and kicks two or three of the lads from behind. He also hits them on the head with a drumstick. There is a lot of talk about a new lorry coming to the school, and we would have it in time for ‘Tully strand’. We still have the old Ford and it’s all tied together with rope and bits of string, but it still goes, and never gets stuck on the road.

  There is now a new wheelwright carpenter called John Cumming who has only one ear. They say he got the other ear shot off in 1921 during the trouble. The weather is now much better and we are able to play football daily, and the manager said yesterday, that we would be able to go to Tully strand next week if the new Lorry arrived. So every day we ask Joe Carmody, who is the mechanic if there is any news of the lorry, and he said it would arrive in a few days. The Lorry has now arrived and it’s called a ‘Guy’. As it’s holiday time we can all go to the garage and have a look at it. It’s very much bigger than the Ford.

  The date is now fixed for the seaside. We will go next Tuesday, provided the weather is fine, and the Manager Keegan does not have to go away on business. Tuesday comes round, the weather is good, we are all waiting and excited in the yard after breakfast. The word goes round that Brother Keegan is gone to the village but would return in an hour. It’s now 9:30 a.m. Eleven o’clock comes but no news. A shout goes up that Brother Keegan has been seen, he is on his way down. As he comes down the steps he blows his whistle. We all fall in, and there is complete silence. Brother Keegan is very sorry but he has to g
o to Clifden to bring back a new boy.

  He promised we would go to Tully strand the next day, Wednesday. But the next day something else happened. ‘John Fagan’ was taken away to a mental home. That was the boy who used to be beaten on the head by Brother Walsh in order to make him think like other boys. Dr Lavelle said that he was insane. Big Tom Baker said that ‘Fagan was all right, he had the sense to run and lock himself in the Lavatory whenever he seen Brother Walsh coming.’ He wasn’t beaten so much since Walsh left. Except that big Scally used to chase and beat him on the legs with the strap.

  We were now promised that we should have the trip on the first fine day. The cakes which had been baked for the original outing, had to be eaten on Sunday as they were already stale. My brother Joe who worked in the bakehouse told me that they were baking new cakes and currant loaves, so that we did actually go to Tully strand about ten days after the day originally planned. It was a warm and beautiful day, we were all on the beach in less than two hours. We were taken in the old Ford lorry and the Guy. The Ford was driven by Joe Carmody and the Guy by Brother Keegan. Mr Griffin also went with us. The older boys played football, or went swimming, and the youngsters played games or paddled about in the shallow water. In the late afternoon, bread and jam and cakes were given out. Races were then organised, as well as jumping, and the long jump for which there were prizes of sweets and chocolate.

  At about 5:30 in the evening the men were all tired out, and the first parties were already getting ready to return. Brother Scully had us all gathered around. We were all sitting cross-legged on the sand listening to a song. Brother Scully was a good singer and never refused to give us a song. George Gordon also sang as well as Joe Cavanagh. The first two loads had already gone back to the school. And now big Downes gave us the ‘Minstrel Boy’ and Brother Scully finished the day with his old favourite, ‘work boys, work and be contented’. After which we all started to march back towards the school, and as we met the lorries, we climbed on as our turns came. Many of the older lads marched the full three miles back to the school. After a late supper, we all went off to bed, without saying the Rosary.

  The holidays quickly came to an end, and we are once again back at school. Brother Conway allows us to pick our own seats at the desk and when we are all settled nicely next to our pals, he decided with a smile on his face to change us all around. Brother Conway although he is young and very quiet, is wide awake to all the tricks. He is a good teacher, although he appears to take it all as a joke. If he sees that a boy is nervous when it is his turn to read a lesson or do a sum on the board, he quickly passes him by and calls on him later, when more at ease. Conway is a good Irish speaker although he is not allowed to teach Irish, because he does not come from Connacht, and we are taught only the Connacht dialect.

  My brother Joe is now due to leave school as he is almost sixteen. He has been at his trade now every day for over a year, and has not attended school in the mornings, only one hour from six to seven in the evenings. Boys leaving school are usually given a suit and a pair of shoes, which are made to measure by the lads in the workshops. A shirt and socks are also supplied, which are made in the school. I know I shall not miss Joe very much because we have not seen much of each other, due to the difference in our ages.

  The new brother has now arrived to take charge of cooking and the refectory. We are all whispering to each other, the first morning at breakfast that Brother Vale takes charge. It’s always exciting when a new brother arrives. Everyone is asking himself the same question: is he quiet? Or is he cross? All eyes are now on Brother Vale as we take our breakfast in silence. I have heard that Brother Vale has just spent seven years in a deaf and dumb school near Dublin. He wears dark glasses, so we can’t see his eyes. He speaks very little as he signals for us to sit down, stand up etc. His age is about the same as Walsh or Fahy. Annie Aspel in charge of the Laundry said his age is about forty-five, or as she puts it, the age when they all go strange.

  Nothing very much happens for almost a week, it was on Sunday, when we are usually allowed to talk at meals. After being given permission, we were about half way through our breakfast when the boys on number three table began to speak. Like a flash Brother Vale rushed to the table and beat everyone across the back and the head with something which was neither a stick nor a strap. We couldn’t see him carry any weapon. He struck everyone about six blows at terrific speed. The screams and shouts were most frightening. The boys on number three table were about thirteen years old. A few minutes after we were given permission to talk my brother Joe discovered what it was that the boys were beaten with. It was an eighteen-inch-long piece of rubber, and had been cut from a solid rubber tyre. Vale now pushed the rubber up under the shoulder of his Jacket so that the impression was plainly visible from the outside. Nobody else was beaten during the meal, but when breakfast was finished, Vale went around and examined the floor under each person. Any one who had allowed crumbs of bread to fall on the floor, were ordered to get down and pick them up, as they did this they were beaten with the rubber.

  I had not yet been detailed to ‘serve’. That means, that two from each table remain behind and do the washing up and cleaning etc., they also served the food for the next meal. This work was normally done by boys over twelve years of age and as I was just over eleven I should be free for almost another year. My brother Jack and Cunningham were on serve during this week, but they were told today that they would have to carry on for another three weeks. Jack was beaten for having dirty forks. After the knives and forks have been washed and dried they are shown for inspection.

  We are allowed to talk at dinner, but not in the evenings. Times have now changed for the worse. Life was more pleasant after Walsh had gone away. We got a break from the stick and the strap. Already the children’s faces were beginning to light up, and they were much more happy than before, but now all that fear has returned. Paddy told me he gets slapped during every lesson, but he is not worried because he thinks he will be out of the school in another year. He is now working in the mechanic’s shop, and he is learning very quickly. He said the mechanic is a great tradesman. Jack is now working permanently in the kitchen. Each day he collects the meat from the slaughterhouse, and the other rations from the store. He goes to the bakehouse for the bread.

  A rehearsal for the new play is to take place to-morrow night. And we will all be admitted. I understand that it is a full dress rehearsal and the costumes have all been made in the tailor shop. Martin Connelly said he has been working on the suits and decorations for two weeks. I have never seen a play before, and I am really looking forward to seeing it. The new P.T. instructor and Mick Hayden are taking part, and Mr Cumming. Brother Byrne has been teaching everyone their respective parts. I am told there is also singing and dancing. The band boys have all a new blue suit, and new stockings with fancy tops. If the rehearsal is a success the play will tour the main towns of Galway and Mayo, going to a different place every Sunday. Con Murphy a chum of mine is in the band. He plays a cornet, and he has promised to bring me back something. He said they may get apples, oranges, or sweets.

  Con Murphy said he comes from near Dublin. He was only seven years old when he came to Letterfrack in 1923. He does not remember his parents and has never received a letter. Tommy Gordon plays a clarinet and he also plays the piano. The band Master thinks Gordon is very intelligent and should have a great future. His brother George has now left the school. He was able to conduct the band at the age of fourteen. Their parents come from Belfast. The Gordons are well liked by everyone in the school, partly because they are the only lads from the north, and also because their manners are better than most boys from the country. Tommy Gordon’s mother visited him last year, and she stayed in the infirmary with the nurse. Very few parents or relations visit the school. There is Tom Thornton who has one leg. His father comes to the local cattle fair every year. He is a very big man from near Westport.

  The only other boy who receives a visitor is Roche. His Mo
ther comes to see him every year. I think she also comes from Westport. The last time she came he would not see her, because she came wearing a black shawl and she carried a basket of fruit. The boys of Letterfrack used to say that only fish women wear a shawl, in other words, only low-class people would appear in public with a shawl. I remember one time a Galway lad asked me if my mother ever wore a shawl. When I answered ‘yes’, he went round the yard and told everyone and they all laughed and teased me for weeks afterwards. Although the majority in Letterfrack are here because of poverty, few will admit this fact. A boy who is sent to the school for an offence such as stealing, or failing to go to school, is considered a higher class of person than the one who is there as a result of poverty. Only the other day I heard Johnny Comeford from Dublin say to another fellow, ‘I was sent here for robbing and not because my parents were paupers.’

  The play is now about to start we have been very busy for two days, cleaning and scrubbing the gymnasium. The place is decorated with flags and bunting, and there are many coloured lights. We have to carry down chairs from the back of the stage and place them in position at the front near the stage for the Parish Priests, Christian Brothers and local people who will be there. There are about a hundred expected. The acting is very good, and everything goes off without a single mistake. The band and the singing is good. Now the Parish Priest Fr Discum stands up and thanks everyone for the splendid performance. Everyone is now happy because they know what would happen if something did go wrong. Everyone taking part would be lined up and beaten the next day, and the whole play would be rehearsed very many times, until perfection was achieved.