Founded on Fear Read online

  We are now alone in the infirmary, Caleba and I. The nurse used to sleep in a room at the end, but she has now gone away. Mr Hogan has also left, and Mr Hayden the baker told my brother Joe that they have got married and are living in England. She walked with a slight limp and some say she had a cork leg.

  It’s very lonely in the infirmary with the wood all round us. Caleba is very ill and has eaten nothing for two days. He is always asking for water, and I have to get out of bed and climb up on a chair to switch out the light. I hate going into the bathroom for the water because there is no light there.

  Dr Lavelle came to see us again the next day. He spends a long time with Caleba. Brother Keegan and he come to my bed. He asked me how I had fallen down the stairs, and I said that the stairs were slippy because they were polished every day. He then found marks on my head, ears and back. He looked at my hands. He then took the bed clothes off my bed to examine my feet and legs. The backs of the legs still had marks of the stick. He then left with the superior. The Doctor again came in the late evening to see Caleba.

  That night I had to get water only once. When I awoke next morning I went to see Caleba. He was very quiet, so I got back into bed and must have fallen asleep again. The breakfast of bread and cocoa had now arrived, and Brothers Dooley, Kelly and Keegan had arrived. They told me that Caleba was dead. There was no school that day, so the boys were allowed to come and kneel by the bed of the corpse to pray. The body was now laid out in the room next to the road. After the funeral I remained in the infirmary for a week, alone every night. I was terribly frightened and would have run out if the door was unlocked. I was now allowed up and could go and have my meals in the refectory, before the others, because, Brother Byrne explained, my arm might get hurt again, when the boys rushed in for their food.

  A new nurse had now arrived. She was tall and thin, she was very good to me and often made tea in the infirmary kitchen. She would sit on my bed knitting for several hours each day. When I was well enough to return to school she said I would be leaving the next day. The thought of returning to school and the dormitory made me ill. I was allowed to remain another two days. On the afternoon of the last day the nurse took me for a walk through the farm, which was only a hundred yards away. I liked the farm, there were lots of hens and chickens and geese as well as turkeys. Tommy Mannion who lived near Letterfrack worked on the farm. He told us there were more than a hundred birds in the wire netting enclosure. There were also a dozen tame rabbits and a baby fox, which was found on Diamond Hill. We now stood and watched the water pond, and again walked on through the farm. We continued towards Diamond Hill. We now sat on the grass and she asked me if I was looking forward to returning to school, and was surprised when I answered no. On our way back we passed a field where the bull and many cows were. When we arrived back at the infirmary the nurse went to the monastery where she had her supper, and I went to the refectory. I was late and the boys were already seated. I went to the kitchen and got a mug of cocoa, and a slice of bread and dripping. I liked dripping.

  I sat at my own table beside Martin Mullins. He told me that Brother Walsh would soon be leaving and another Brother would be in charge of us. That was good news and now I was no longer afraid. When I returned to the infirmary the nurse was waiting. The dressing was now taken off my arm and I had a bath and to bed. When the nurse sat on the end of my bed after making tea, I asked her if she had any brothers or sisters. She said she had a sister in the States. Her Mother and Father had died recently. Next morning the nurse and I went to Mass and I joined the boys. I had missed many lessons and now I was told by Mr Moran that I would have to catch up with the other lads, or else stay in first class for another year. I didn’t want that, so I decided to ask Martin Mullins to help me with the lessons and sums during playtime. During the next few weeks, life was a little better in the school. We were not beaten so much on the head or the face, only on the front and backs of the hands.

  We tried to keep our clothing clean of vermin, but it was impossible. Whenever lice were found Walsh always flogged us. He still kept on beating boys on Sunday mornings. It’s now well over a month since I have had my pants taken off. The two Downes brothers, the two Finnegans, Tommy Berry, John Coyne, Murtaugh, the Feericks from Castlebar, the two Giblins, the McLoughlins from Leitrim, John Bowen and a new boy from Galway, Tommy Ward, Haywood, all of these boys and many others I have seen flogged on Sunday at six thirty a.m.

  Most of the children in St. Michael’s dormitory wet the bed so there is a night man who goes around. He lives a mile from Letterfrack, near the haunted house in the wood. When he finds a bed wet he puts the child across his bed and beats him with a strap. The night man now gets sacked for stealing clothing. He also steals coal and potatoes. The new night man is much better to the children. The boys who wet the bed have a towel fastened to the head of the bed, and they are called periodically. The reason for the towel is to indicate who should be called. The new man is a very good Irish speaker, and he is able to help us with our Irish lessons. He comes to the dormitories about nine o’clock. Last night he sat on the end of my bed, and told me that he remembered when Mr Griffin first came to Letterfrack, well over forty years ago. He remembers playing football against Griffin in Cleggan in the year 1899. Brother Walsh now leaves the school. He takes second class for the last time. He beats no one on his last day. The new Brother has arrived. His name is Conway and he is very young. Everyone stands up as Brother Walsh leaves the school. He says good-bye and there is not an answer, the children stand motionless and with bowed heads.

  It’s now on the day we get apples and nuts. We all parade in the yard and bags of apples and nuts are brought from the office. We each get an apple and two handfuls of nuts. There are four main feast days, Christmas, Easter and Tully strand day – when we go to the seaside for a day – and Halloween. Our teacher Mr Moran is now very ill. He has been confined to bed for several weeks. Dr Lavelle sees him every day, but he is getting weaker, and we are asked to pray for him. The following week he died aged thirty-three. All the boys are allowed to visit Mr Moran’s house. Mr Moran’s father is the school blacksmith and Miss Moran is his sister. She is in charge of the knitting and the darning room. We are now without a teacher in first standard, so Brother Kelly the office Brother spends an hour a day with us and the superior takes us on catechism, as we will shortly have an examination when the priest visits the school in three weeks. Brother Kelly now leaves the school and is replaced by Brother Murphy. Everyone is sorry to lose Brother Kelly, because he has been good and kind to everyone. He never refused to give us a stamp when we were writing home. Catechism is now the only subject we are taught for the next few weeks, and the superior is in charge of us each day. He does not beat us very often, only just a slap on the hand. As there is no one in charge of the cooking so Mr Hayden the baker gives a hand, and the new officer Brother Murphy also helps. All the Brothers now take charge of the meals in turn.

  We heard the other day that there would be a new man coming shortly to take charge of the refectory and kitchen. They say he has been in a deaf and dumb school for seven years. The priest has now arrived and we all have to wash ourselves carefully and comb our hair. Brother Keegan has brought down two big white combs, which he bought in the village. The catechism exam is very simple and most of us pass, those who are backward are given another chance.

  It is now almost Christmas, and we have a mission which lasts a week. Every year at this time a missioner visits the school and he says Mass each morning, and gives a sermon every evening, which lasts an hour. This is to prepare us for the feast of Christmas. At the end of the mission everyone makes a confession. On Christmas Eve we do little or no work except to decorate the school and the refectory with holly and we make chains of ivy.

  Christmas day is a big occasion and there are few restrictions. After Mass we have breakfast without having to parade and be marched to the refectory. In addition to the usual bread and margarine we have corn (?) loaf and ext
ra tea if required. During the day we can talk anywhere without permission, and we may leave the yard or go into the village to the shops. About half the lads get a parcel or letter at Christmas. We get a cake and half a crown. With the money we go to the village and spend it all on sweets and chocolate. It is the practice to share everything with the children who have no parents or those who do not hear from home.

  Dinner is very good. We have roast meat, gravy and peas, followed by Christmas pudding. Very few are able to eat the pudding, so it is kept for the next day. For the evening meal there is cake, bread and jam and tea as required. After Christmas discipline is greatly relaxed. We attend the workshops or other duties, such as darning, knitting and cleaning and polishing the dormitories, but we do not attend school for a week. The Christmas spirit lasts until the New Year.

  We are now back at school, and all the decorations have been taken down, and life is back to normal. We have not yet got a regular teacher. Brother Keegan teaches us now every day and the new Brother spends a little time with our class in the evening. Brother Keegan now enters the school and finds the boys in second standard talking, so he calls Brother Conway and tells him that he must exercise more control. He should also use the strap when necessary. He now uses the strap for the first time, but I notice that he holds the strap only about six inches over the hand, whereas Walsh always lifted it high over his shoulder. It’s now very cold weather and the older lads are sliding on the ice in the yard. They always throw buckets of water on the yard at night time so that there is ice in the morning.

  Dr Lavelle now sees all the children and he orders all those under ten years to go to the infirmary for cod liver oil daily. I now attend the darning class each day after school, and Miss Moran tells me to sit beside big Giblin and he will show me how to darn socks. I like the darning room because there is a fire in it. Some of the boys are being taught how to use the knitting machine, and others are learning hand knitting. It is in this room that all the stocks, socks, and jerseys are made. Miss Moran is a good teacher and the boys learn quickly. Brother Keegan sometimes comes, and one day I heard him telling Miss Moran to beat the children and he gave her a stick, which she took and threw in the fire. She said she knew her business and if he was not satisfied he could get someone else. I was in the darning room for six months. I heard Miss Moran tell the bandmaster that her age was twenty-five, and she thought twenty-five was very old.

  Brother Dooley has now left the school, and he is replaced by Brother Fahy from Artane School Dublin. He is a native of Claremorris, Co. Mayo. As Brother Fahy is in charge of the senior boys I don’t see him except on Sundays when he takes drill parade. We also get a new teacher called Seán McLoughlin, a native of Connemara. He teaches Irish. I heard him tell Mr Griffin he had been educated at Clifden. He intended to continue his studies, and would get a better job later on. The bandmaster Dan Kelly has also left and John Hickey takes his place. Hickey takes charge of our class in the evenings and also infants, and he is very cross with the young children and punches them in the face. He holds them by the right ear with his left hand and hits them in the face with the other. Hickey is five feet two inches and he has fair hair which is brushed straight back. I am told that Brother Fahy and Hickey are very friendly. Some say that Hickey was a pet of Fahy’s many years before at Artane school. Every year there is a concert or a play, and every day now the band is having rehearsals for a play, which is due to be shown next month.

  Brother Byrne is training a lot of boys who are also taking part in the play. After being shown at Letterfrack, they tour many towns in Galway and County Mayo. All the children who go on tour return with presents of some kind. On Sunday afternoons Fahy organises boxing matches between the boys. He has bought two pair of boxing gloves. The first two to fight are ‘Bullock’ Fanning and Dick Whittington. Although there is a difference of two years in their ages, Fanning is fifteen and Whittington is thirteen. And now he pairs off Tommy Ward with Joe Kelly aged fourteen who is two years older than his partner. The older boy wins in each fight. When Fahy does not like a boy, he orders him to fight a bigger and older one. It will be summer again in another month and we are preparing for our annual examination in sums, reading, writing etc. After which we shall have six weeks’ holidays. If we pass the exam, we will advance to a higher standard. Brother Keegan said yesterday that we would definitely go to Tully strand this year. We did not go last year, owing to the bad weather, and when the weather improved, the lorry had broken down. But Tom Baker told my brother Joe, that that was often the excuse in previous years, and the real reason why there was no outing last year was because there wasn’t enough money in the bank.

  4

  School Layout and Sanitation

  Letterfrack in the present year 1925 is a comparatively new school, as I stand on the terrace, and face westwards. The yard or playground is just below. Straight in front is half the main building and on the left the other half, or at right angles to the first. On my right front is a wall on the ball alley, which runs from east to west. It is about ten feet high with wire netting on top. This wall connects the main building to the terrace. At the back of the wall are the toilets near the terrace end. At the back of the wall at the other end is a room where the boots, polish and brushes are kept. The toilets and boot room are entered from the yard. On the extreme right of the first half of the main building is the band room. Next door is the school for infants first and second classes, and the next room is for third and fourth standards. The next is called the library where fifth and sixth standards work.

  The entrance to the library is also the entrance to the refectory and kitchens, in other words there is a small hall or porch inside the main entrance. And on the right is the door leading to the library on the left to the refectory. In the centre or between the two doors is the stairs leading to the dormitories, underneath the stairs is a tiny room where the sweets are kept or the ‘shop’. At the top of the stairs on the left are the wash basins for boys in St Patrick’s dormitory, At the far end of St Patrick’s dormitory there are four rooms, where the Christian Brother, the band Master, Mr Griffin and the baker sleep. At the top of the stairs again on the right, the door leading to St Michael’s dormitory (there is a toilet at the top of the stairs). We are now in St Michael’s dormitory on the right and just inside the door is the mechanic’s bedroom.

  There are six rows of beds or seventy-two beds in all, in each dormitory. At the other end of the dormitory is the Christian Brother’s room straight through and to the left is the stairs leading down to the bathroom, the yard can be reached by this way. At the top of the stairs again, the door to the left leads to the washbasins, there is a toilet in this room. At the other end of the washrooms, is the entrance to the new building, where the very young children sleep. The new building has been erected at the back of the second half of the main building.

  St Michael’s upstairs, and the refectory down below is in the second half. The first and second half of the school are connected, and not detached, as I may have led you to believe. The main kitchen is at the far end of the refectory and leading to the new building (downstairs) where we find the laundry which is well equipped with modern washing and drying machines. Next door is the motors or engines for supplying electric light etc. The main school building was built in the shape of the letter L, which made up half of the square. The other half was the terrace and the ball alley.

  Most of the workshops are on the terrace. We now face eastwards, or away from the school, from right to left. The baker’s, tailor’s, shoemaker’s, carpenter’s, mechanic’s and next is the room where fret saw work is done (plywood is cut by machine and small articles are made). The blacksmith is between the carpenter’s and mechanic’s. Next door is the darning and knitting room, and last is the main office where the superior, and the office Brother work. The wheelwright shop is situated at the west end of the gymnasium behind the ball alley. If we go along the terrace just past the main office, turn right, the chapel is sixty yard
s along on the left.

  A new chapel is being built a hundred yards to the right. Fifty yards from the new chapel is the monastery. Where the Christian Brothers live. The infirmary is about eighty yards east of the monastery. We can now see the farmyard. In the farmyard is the slaughterhouse. The school land consists of about a hundred acres of fair and a hundred acres of poor land. There are about five local men employed on the farm, including Festy and Tommy Mannion, John Cusack carries out all the property repairs. There is a tradesman employed in each of the workshops, to teach the children a trade and also to make work for the use of the school, such as furniture, clothing, boots, pullovers, socks, and shirts etc. Mattresses, sheets and pillowcases are also produced.

  As well as making for their own use the workshops carry on a lively trade with the local farmers and fishermen. Letterfrack School is to a great extent self supporting, in as much as that most requirements are produced from within. The school has its own powerhouse. The waterfalls, which comes from the hills and through the wood, drive the dynamo which supplies electricity. Letterfrack is less than a mile from the sea and as the wind blows in from the Atlantic, it carries salt water which, when it hits the hills, turns into rain, hence the heavy rainfall on the west coast. We are almost surrounded by hills amongst which are the Twelve Pins (or Bens). The land in Connemara is very poor and there is only a few inches of soil. The poor quality of the land is due to the salt in the air. The vegetation is very poor, and animal life suffers from this poverty. The cattle, sheep and horses are a lot smaller here than anywhere else in the country. The Connemara pony is a very tiny and most beautiful animal. The mountain goats are fairly plentiful in the hilly country of Connemara. I have not yet seen any snow here, and Con Murphy told me that he has seen very little snow in these parts, he has been here for three years. Yet it must be very cold as most of the children get chilblains in the Winter, and I have seen several with frostbitten ears.